


Deep into the Mountain Sound

by Tonight_At_Noon



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Insecurity, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), and darcy needing support, bucky being supportive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:34:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22101895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tonight_At_Noon/pseuds/Tonight_At_Noon
Summary: Darcy and Bucky wake up in the middle of the night to drive to Skyline Drive in Virginia hoping to catch at the sunrise at the top of the highest point in the National Park. Reluctant before they even arrived, Darcy finds herself struggling with the past when faced with actually climbing the mountain. [I deleted the original work titled simply "Mountain Sound" and attached the second part to the first for a nicer flow.]
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis
Comments: 8
Kudos: 69





	Deep into the Mountain Sound

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, as you probably read in the summary, this is the same thing as "Mountain Sound" just with the second part tacked on. Hopefully everything reads smoother, and hopefully you are able to enjoy! [Title from a Of Monsters and Men song.]

.

**Deep into the Mountain Sound**

.

It was his idea to wake up at 2:00 in the morning in order to drive several hours in the freezing cold to make it to Skyline Drive. A place Darcy had never heard of before, let alone desired to visit. But he had been feeling sad lately. More sad than usual. She often came home from work to find him sitting morosely—because if there was someone whose posture screamed morose, it was Bucky’s—on the sofa, staring out the window. She never asked what he was thinking when he was caught in those thousand yard stares. Mainly because his ears stopped working during those moments—all of his focus was on looking, not listening—and he wouldn't hear her anyway. But she had a few good guesses, most of them having to do with Steve. Or Tony. Or anyone else the world—the universe—lost only a couple of years ago. 

Survivor's guilt. That's what Darcy decided it was, and she was almost positive any therapist would agree. There was a hell of a lot of other shit going on too, but the majority of that had been dealt with when he was in high-tech rehab in Wakanda. But that didn't stop the HYDRA stuff from coming back every now and again. Mostly though, she had the gut feeling it was guilt that stopped him from functioning. And she tried, really tried, to help him through those moments, but she felt useless. Even when, after she had been sitting with him, rubbing his back for so long her palm was raw, he held her stinging hands and gave her the smallest, warmest smile. 

Then he would be back to normal. Well, as normal as he could be. He would wake up the following morning and go for hours-long runs with Sam. Then they'd be saving the world together before dinner. And he'd come home with minor scrapes and bruises, smiling because he'd saved the world. Again. 

That was his routine, and she had gotten used to it in the time they'd been together. So when, after he'd been stuck in a stare longer than usual, he came to her while she was in the shower claiming to have a fun idea, Darcy was surprised. And intrigued. But mostly surprised. Through the shower curtain, Bucky described to her this place he went to before the war. The Second World War, not any of the others. It was in Virginia. It was called Skyline Drive. And why don't we wake up at 2:00 in the morning to go there? 

Darcy had no choice but to say yes, even as her insides twisted. She needed sleep. But she needed him too, so she sucked it up and woke up at 2:00 the following morning, scrambling to find the closest thing she owned to hiking boots. They were going to climb to the top of Hawksbill Mountain apparently and all she had was a pair of slightly grippy ankle boots. Not that it really mattered. She was sure if she pouted enough Bucky would carry her the whole way without breaking a sweat. 

Theirs was the only vehicle at the gravelly parking area at the bottom of the trails. Surprisingly, not the only vehicle at Skyline. Darcy thought all the other people wandering other trails in the park were mad to be there when it was so cold and dark, but then that made her mad by association, and Bucky, so she stopped thinking that as she switched off the engine and stared through the windscreen at the bottom of the mountain trail. 

She put on her first pout, way ahead of schedule, unable to help herself. "A mountain, Bucky," she whined, knowing how pathetic she sounded. The freezing air from outside had already seeped into the car. "It's not, like, a hill. It's a fucking mountain." 

"The view, Darce. It'll be worth it when we get to the top," he said. "You ready?"

She had no choice. It was rough, sometimes. Loving someone as athletically inclined as Bucky. 

Sucking up her pride, reminding herself this was a form of therapy for him, Darcy climbed out of the car and immediately zipped her puffy jacket all the way up. Her hands were numb already, even through she had gloves on. She flexed her fingers as Bucky offered her one of the two flashlights they had packed. She switched hers on and shone it at Bucky's face, giggling like a schoolgirl when he flinched. Lowering the light a bit, she scanned his face. It was definitely less tight than it had been in the last few days. And she knew beneath the beanie he wore—a handmade gift from her mother last Christmas Darcy was still shocked he liked, considering the questionable purple colour—his short hair was no longer as greasy as it had been.

Caught in her own stare, Darcy tore her eyes away when Bucky retaliated by pointing his flashlight in her face. She frowned, her vision going momentarily, though her blood warmed at the smile on Bucky's face.

"Come on," she said, tugging his arm and shining the light at the mouth of the trail. "Let's do this."

He took her free hand in his, a gesture so intimate and rare that Darcy almost stopped dead in her tracks. It wasn't that he didn't show affection. He did. Occasionally. But she entered her relationship with the psychologically damaged-but-in-recovery war hero with a metal arm without any expectations. And usually there was no touching in public. Not that this was necessarilya public place. Nobody was there to witness their entwined hands unless she counted the animals that were no doubt lurking in the trees. 

But still, hand holding was reserved for inside the apartment. Away from potentially prying eyes. 

Darcy managed to keep her cool, tightening her grip on Bucky's hand just a little the nearer they got to the bottom of the mountain. The trail was all rocks, just a thin space between two expanses of trees that extended far beyond the reach of her flashlight. Darcy shone the light ahead, expecting to see a neat, happy, welcoming pathway. Instead, she saw what to her eyes looked like a sheer rock face. 

This time, she did stop. Bucky nearly dragged her with him before he realised she had fallen behind. He turned to face her, lifting the flashlight to just below her chin. She didn't look at him. She kept staring at the wall of rocks a few feet in the distance. 

"You want me to climb that?" she asked before Bucky could ask her what was happening. 

"What's wrong with it?"

"What's wrong with it?" she repeated, moving her eyes to his. Her heart had jumped to her throat. She couldn't do it. She wasn't nearly as fit as him, plus she didn't have any super soldier serum in her blood. And she couldn't embarrass herself like that in front of him. "That looks like one of those walls military people have to climb during basic training. It's at a ninety-degree angle. It's basically a wall. I . . . I don't think I can do this, Bucky."

She watched his face fall. The motion was nearly undetectable. She almost didn’t pick it up, but the crinkles around his eyes smoothed out, and the corners of his mouth turned ever so slightly down. Instantly, Darcy was washed in guilt. It came over her like a cascade of freezing water, causing her to shiver even more than she already was in the Antarctic-like temperature of mid-winter Northern Virginia. She wished she could take it back. She wished she had one of those stupid vials stupid Captain America had that aided his escape from the 21st century. If she had one, she would rewind two minutes, pretend to be amazed by the rocky pathway, and charge ahead with Bucky beside her.

But she didn’t have one of those stupid vials. She was stuck in the present, feeling like the world’s worst, unsupportive partner, forced to witness how her own childish insecurities had turned what was supposed to be a therapeutic outing into something closer to a disaster. 

Okay. So, she wasn’t known for her subtlety, nor for shying away from melodrama. This was not a disaster. Bucky had seen real disasters, hence why he was constantly searching for something to help him forget about those events. But still, she was meant to be by his side. Supporting him. Helping him work through the trauma that plagued him. And what was she doing instead—being a whiny girl whose own past was bubbling up, stopping her from climbing a damn mountain.

“No,” she said, shaking her head, trying to push out all of the junior high and high school memories shouting for her attention. “No, Bucky, I didn’t mean that. I can do this.”

“Are you sure? We don’t have to. There are plenty of other trails that aren’t as steep.”

He was trying to accommodate her. And that made her feel even worse. “Steep? Who said anything about this being a steep trail?” She tried laughing, but it didn’t sound right. It came out like the dying breaths of a brutally attacked animal. 

Darcy walked closer to the mouth of the trail and looked up. Her flashlight’s powerful beam really did make it look like a sheer rock face, but the more she moved the light, the clearer the image became. It wasn’t a wall. There were curves and footprints. Trees and a border of rocks going up the sides of the path. But the further up she shone her flashlight the steeper the trail became. It wouldn’t quite require her to be crawling on her hands and knees, but she couldn’t see herself gracefully walking upright.

“Darcy, what’s wrong?”

Bucky’s voice crashed into her and she startled, turning to find him standing beside her. He looked concerned. It was strange—usually she was the one sporting that look. She was hardly used to being on the receiving end. 

“Nothing,” she said quietly. She knew she should come out and say it. But it was a silly insecurity. Literally nothing compared to everything that was probably swirling around Bucky’s head. 

“I don’t believe you. And if you don’t tell me,” he warned, “I’ll be thinking up all kinds of things that are probably much worse than what is actually bothering you. For my sake, let me in that brain of yours.”

They had completely reversed roles. Just from last night. It was some version of _Freaky Friday_. 

“I want to tell you,” she admitted, looking up at the sky and noticing a slightly brighter shade of deep blue. The sun would soon be up. If they were to catch the sunrise, they would have to start soon. 

“Then tell me,” he implored.

“It’s stupid. It’s nothing.” She glanced at Bucky. He kinked an eyebrow.

“Obviously it’s something.”

“Well, yeah, but it’s, like, so stupid. So, so, so stupid.”

“Darcy, I’m not moving until you tell me.”

Staring at the ground, Darcy experienced a minor explosion of residual anxiety from her teen years. It bubbled up and before she could stop herself from boiling over, she started talking. “It’s just, I’ve always been a bit . . . you know . . . bigger than all the other girls. And shorter. And I hit puberty at like, ten, and you know how girls are. And guys. Well, maybe you don’t. Not 21st century guys and girls, at least. But still, I got tits and an ass, and curves. God, they fucking went after my hips and tits the most. At gym, I was always the slowest during the mile. Nobody picked me for their teams because I was the shy girl with big tits and big hips and big glasses. 

“It took a toll on me, yeah?” Darcy started panting as she spoke, the words flying out so fast she forgot to breathe until she was almost out of air. Her body felt suddenly burning hot in spite of the freezing temperature. “I would cry at night, pray that I would get smaller. That my boobs would somehow pop like fucking balloons. And so I tried exercising, but it never worked. Everything stayed the same size, and by junior and senior year people were over making fun of me, so they just started ignoring me. By the time I got to college, I decided I would be okay being, well, me. So I stopped trying to lose weight. 

“I haven’t gone on a run or a hike or anything like that since I was sixteen, Bucky. I don’t think I can do this because I’m totally unfit and it’s suddenly hit me how fucking embarrassing that is. I mean, you’re like the most muscular person I’ve ever met and I know fucking Thor. How can I expect you to still want me when I can’t even climb a fucking tiny mountain?”

Finished, deflated, Darcy blinked away the few tears that had welled up as she spoke. She hugged herself and focused on the scuffed material of her ancient tennis shoes. 

A few seconds of nothingness passed. All Darcy could hear were the buzzing thoughts running around her skull, bashing against her ears like amplified drums. Her body felt heavy and light at the same time. She felt as if her next step could either send her sinking into the earth or floating towards the sky. She only wanted to escape, so she didn’t mind which option ended up being her fate. 

Through the buzzing nothingness, Darcy heard crunching gravel. The darkest recesses of her mind imagined Bucky walking slowly away from her, then quickly away. Climbing into the vehicle and driving off. But the reality was much better. Bucky’s body—his tall, sturdy body that she had been holding for so many months now—curled over hers. He draped himself over her, encircling her in his arms. She instinctively pressed her cheek against his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. 

He spoke to her, but the words were muffled. Barely audible. She captured snippets. He loved her. Every part of her. He knew she was beautiful. He would always want her. She could climb this mountain.

“You’ll carry me if I can’t, though, right?” she asked, pulling back. 

Bucky smiled down at her. Then, he laughed and shook his head, tilting his neck down to kiss her. “I’ll carry you,” he said against her mouth.

Turning her head, Darcy looked again at the trail. The sky had lightened even more, transforming into a milky blue. The moon and stars were fading. With the added brightness, Darcy noticed the path really and truly was not a climbing wall. But it was very steep. But she could do this. For those bastards at school. For Bucky. 

For herself. 

“Let’s go catch that sunrise.” Darcy disentangled herself from Bucky and switched off her flashlight, walking past the entrance to the trail without giving herself time to second guess. Bucky reached her side and took her hand, and they went onward.

The initial fiery start did not last long. Darcy got about twenty meters up the gravelly pathway before she needed a break. But Bucky stopped with her. He breathed with her.

“God, the fucking air hurts my lungs,” she said, gripping her waist and bending slightly.

“You’ll get used to it.”

“No, I won’t. It’s like breathing ice shards.”

Bucky waited until she felt comfortable enough to start again. She got even further this time before needing to stop. In an effort to distract herself from the pinch in her side, Darcy looked at their surroundings. The trail was thin and lined with large rocks. Beyond the path was a wide expanse of trees either side—Darcy could not see the end of them. She felt almost trapped by the leafless giants.

The grass dotted along the ground was tall and there were still some white flowers clinging to their stalks. She had to admit, it was pretty. 

As her breathing slowed, Darcy caught the scent of the air. It smelled fresh. Clean. When her lungs didn’t burn with the cold, she inhaled the atmosphere and imagined she was breathing in fresh clouds. 

The pair continued onward.

“Oh, God,” Darcy groaned after a few hundred more meters had been covered. She was warm, even in the below freezing temperature. She looked beside her and was glad to see Bucky breathing heavily too. This hiking shit was no joke. “Okay. That’s it. This is my life now. I have climbed halfway up this mountain and now I am fully prepared to die upon it.”

“Come on, we’re nearly there. We’re more than halfway to the top. You aren’t going to die.”

“Really?” Darcy gripped her knees and felt the blood rush to her face. “Because it feels like I’m walking up a literal stairway to heaven.”

Bucky’s laugh assaulted her ears and he lifted her to an upright position. “We’re almost there. The view, Darce,” he repeated.

“The view,” she acquiesced.

Finally, after almost five thousand meters, Darcy and Bucky reached the top. The narrow trail opened onto a wide expanse of grass and boulders, and through a break in the trees Darcy saw the Shenandoah spread out thousands of feet below. The view, even from where she stood far away from the edge of the peak, was stunning. 

Waves of clouds pulsed through the valley, moving and rippling like blankets of water. The pines and ashes clinging to their foliage made the surrounding hills and mountains look alive. A swathe of green in an otherwise dead landscape. 

Somewhere, a bird was singing. 

It really was like she had reached heaven.

And the sun. Bucky took her frozen hand and walked her through the boulders to a stone observation platform. She clung to him, suddenly afraid of falling, and he guided her towards the right corner of the overlook. A yellow orb set the sky ablaze. Through the thin layer of clouds the sun’s rays swelled. 

Darcy felt her throat itch. It wasn’t often nature made her want to cry. Well, it was _never_ that nature made her want to cry. But this—everything about this—had her struggling to keep her composure. 

“Worth it?” Bucky asked, his mouth right against her ear.

She nodded, unable to speak. 

When the sun finished its ascent, Darcy tipped her head back and smiled at Bucky. He smiled back. Everything felt good. Like nothing bad could ever happen to either of them ever again. Which wasn’t true—she knew it wasn’t. But for the moment she would let herself believe that it was. 

Darcy looked out at the valley and said, “Worth it.”


End file.
